It seems that every time I see an advertisement for a reality show, the basis for the program inches ever so closer to the ramblings of someone in an insane asylum. As I was watching a re-run of CSI on TV last night, I saw a commercial for a new show. Thanks to Google, I found the description of the show online. Here’s the synopsis:
“Each episode will feature one real crime, complete with a gruesome recreated crime scene and real crime footage, ripped from the closed case files of Homicide Departments across the United States. Two teams of real people, comprised of three members each, will compete to be the first to solve the case, correctly, in 48 hours.”
Granted, it’s not the real crime scene, but this premise is pretty f’d up nonetheless. The TV ad I saw even showed a lucky “contestant” retching from the sight of the crime. Since this made the cut, I’m guessing it’s one of the show’s highlights.
If this is what’s airing now, imagine what will come next. In case you can’t, I thought up some great ideas for those upcoming writers who want to break into the lucrative reality TV business:
- Flame and Glory: Two teams of civilians will don firefighter gear and attempt to extinguish a real blaze, saving the men, women, and children inside. Will they save the day, or will countless people die from their ineptitude?
- Not Your Average “Talk” Show: Every week, a random bank will be held up and several innocent civilians taken hostage. A team of real people will be brought in with the leader attempting to negotiate with the suspect. Other team members become snipers and will rise to the challenge if the negotiation turns sour.
- Extreme Coronary Makeover, Trauma Edition: Grey’s Anatomy, ER, and House are among the most popular drama shows on television. With all that medical knowledge, you’d think the average Joe could perform open heart surgery. Well, your assumptions will be put to the test every week. Participants will be guided by a trained surgeon as they perform triple bypasses, septal myectomies, mitral valve repairs, and more! With this much excitement, we guarantee you won’t be flatlining!
I welcome any more ideas. Let’s keep those reality TV shows coming!
Entries (RSS)
Who Wants To Be a Fighter Pilot?
Two teams of eight contestants go through the training regimen and practice drills that real military pilots do and graded by real life instructors. Every week, the lowest scoring member of each team is then put into a real dogfight…with live ammo. The winner automatically earns immunity for the next week. The loser goes home, either with his head hung in shame from ejecting from the cockpit like a pansy…or in a bodybag. Flight simulation? No, this is flight STIMulation!
America’s Next Top Garbage Collector
Reality shows are famous for contestants talking trash behind each other’s backs. Why talk trash when you can take out the trash instead? This new reality show pits 13 garbage collectors against each other to see who is the most efficient, resourceful, and talented garbage collector in America. Challenges, such as the “Two Pails: One Hand,” “Show Me the Rotten Fish,” and “I Bet I Can Fit That into the Truck” will send one contestant per week to the dump and crown one as “Trash Master of the Week.” The lucky grand prize winner of “America’s Next Top Garbage Collector” wins a state-of-the-art solar powered trash compactor, a lifetime contract in their home state’s trash collection department, $50,000, and the right to the title of “America’s Next Top Garbage Collector.” Tune in to get the dirt.